Why I Hate Camping

Let me tell you, camping has never been my thing. I’ve had some pretty terrible experiences while camping, and I can understand why many black people feel the same way.

My very first camping trip was when I was just 10 years old, in second grade. Our school took us to a place called Bush Pig Buddies for a three-day adventure. They promised it would be fun, but they couldn’t have been more wrong.

When I woke up on the first morning, there was a lizard right by my head. My teacher insisted it was an iguana, but who’s to say? All I know is that it was a huge reptile, and I was terrified.

That night, a wild thunderstorm rolled in, sending us scurrying for shelter. Instead of sleeping under the stars like we had planned, we sought refuge in an old barn. Upstairs, we made beds out of hay (we were giddy with excitement!). Now, I’m not usually one to worry about germs, but this situation was just plain gross. As we attempted to enjoy the “romance of staring vacuously into a campfire,” we were simultaneously being eaten alive by mosquitoes. To make matters worse, I ended up having an asthma attack. What a fabulous night it was.

I don’t have anything against reservoirs, really. Except for this one time when we had to do an eco-systems exercise there. Our task was to count and identify all the bugs, creatures, and organisms that called the place home. Little did I know, it was also the source of the water for our showers. At that moment, I tried my best not to make the connection. I simply can’t stand showering with cold water and using dirty bathrooms. And the whole idea of a “loo with a view” just escapes me.

The cycle continued each year, for eight long years. I spent a lot of time pondering the moments that made camping such a special experience. I mean, seriously, I really, really thought about it!

Canoeing was a blast. Just being out on the water, gliding along, was pure joy. And let me tell you, lying on the ground, gazing up at the twinkling stars, was absolutely magical. I’ll never forget the time I helped the rangers feed a baby rhino. Talk about an unforgettable experience! Horseback riding was actually pretty fun, and abseiling was totally cool. Oh, and caving? Yeah, that was surprisingly easy and totally awesome.

But here’s the thing, when it all comes down to it, none of those moments were so incredible that I wanted to spend night after night sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag. Don’t get me wrong, camping has its charms, but the whole sleeping on the ground thing? Yeah, not my idea of a good time.

So, my best friend and I decided to give camping another shot. We wanted to make new memories and erase the awful experiences we had on those school camping trips. At first, I wasn’t too thrilled about the idea. But then I thought, maybe it would be like reading Animal Farm by George Orwell – confusing in school, but more enjoyable as an adult. However, my other friends weren’t so enthusiastic. Here’s how they reacted:

Would you go camping?

• No way.
• Absolutely not.
• Sorry, but I prefer my creature comforts.

In what situations would you consider going camping with us?

• There’s no situation that would make me go camping.
• I would never choose to go camping on my own.
• Well, maybe if we stayed in a cabin.

If I were head over heels in love with someone and it made me lose my mind, I finally found a destination where it would just be the two of us. Of course, there is a condition – we need to keep things normal and proper, and not repeat the mistakes of the past. (I still have the emotional scars from the disastrous camping trip at St. Lucia camp). So, after careful consideration, we’ve settled on the Wesvaal Holiday Resort.

Located on the banks of the Vaal River, just an hour’s drive from Johannesburg, this campsite is quite popular for its fishing opportunities. In retrospect, maybe we should have started our questionnaire with something other than fishing.

I want to clarify that I do love the great outdoors; it’s just camping I can do without. But for you, my love, I’m willing to give it another shot. Who knows? Maybe camping will turn out to be fun, an adventure we’ll cherish.

Wesvaal Holiday Resort is situated about twenty minutes outside of Parys, and apart from camping, it’s also known for its fishing opportunities. Check out the photo by Hitekani Mbatsana to get a glimpse of the place.